Reliving the horror.

Well almost a year later and the bitch who murdered my cousin is finally going through her trial. It started on Halloween. She still tries to act like she is innocent. My emotions are a bit all over the place. There is still the immense sadness over the loss of my cousin of which I still have a hard time with. There is the HATRED....the black,deep,unbelievable hatred I feel for this woman...wait she is no woman..she is a bitch, a worthless piece of trash that the world would be much better without. I know some of you want to know how I can feel so harsh but I live in a very reality based life, I work in Law Enforcement so while everyone else could run to work to get away from my cousins death...I was faced with it every day I walked into work. There was no escaping it for me, and because of what I do I also know the heartless bitch IF convicted will only be looking at 16 years max. I said IF because if there is one bleeding heart person on that jury who thinks for even a second she didn't shoot my cousin SIX times in the back..one hitting him above his right ear, get out of the cab, shut the door and calmly walk away then she may not see anymore time behind bars than what she has for the last year. She will have more rights and get everything she needs for free while locked away. While we all pay for health care, groceries, education she gets it all for free...all for killing a father, a brother, a nephew and a cousin. What does my cousin get for trying to provide for himself and his son????? A horrible death by the hands of a worthless piece of trash who when released will go back to her way of life and I wouldn't doubt that she will hurt someone else when she is free. Anyone who takes someones life like this doesn't deserve to ever have a life either. No I did not start feeling this way after my cousin was killed, I have ALWAYS been a firm believer that if you take someones life in cold blood then you no longer deserve to live either.
  For those wondering, I have elected not to go to the trial. Why? you ask...well I don't want to be faced with anymore reality...I don't want to be that close to the thing that took Bubba's life. I am afraid I would lose it and I cant risk my job or my freedom for that piece of trash. Plus I am still trying to get the images from last year out of my head...I don't need new ones. I hope she will see at least the max of 16 years. I miss Bubba every day he left a huge hole in the family, a hole that will never be filled. We miss you and love you Brian.